These are my confessions....

So Hillary, my bestie, did a confession post, and suggested that people reading the post do it as well, so here it goes....

I hate cats, I hate the way they smell, I hate their claws, I hate the way they jump out at you, I hate the way they hiss, I hate their meowing, I hate how skiddish they are.....BUT....I have a cat!

I have Herpes....I had Herpes.....IN MY EYE....WHEN I WAS 7!  I got it from a swimming pool, it ate my tear duct, and now my right eye waters constantly.

I cannot get dressed before I do my hair and make up.  I have no idea how to pick out an outfit without my hair and make up done.

I am addicted to reality shows.  People bash them all the time and come up with all the reasons they are stupid and blah blah blah but it doesn't phase me...I am so obsessed with reality!

I have never had a relationship that has lasted longer than 2 years.  BOOOOO

I sit in my basement at my keyboard and mic and act like I am performing in front of people.  I sing as loudly as i possibly can, and I think it sounds really good :)

I am the least feminist person you could probably find.  I know this is really bad to admit but...I would gladly stay at home everyday while my husband was the bread winner.  I don't think I could probably do a lot of things as well as a guy could, nor do I want to try.  I want a guy to be the handy one, to lift heavy things, to mow the yard, ect... YIKES

Last but not least...

I LOVE THE WORD FUCK

There is probably a lot more, but these were the things I could think of immediately...I love these kind of post!

Football, Thanksgiving, Food, AND FUN!

So Thanksgiving has come and gone but not without me having a lots of fun, food, and watching a lot of football!  Since I don't have much to do these days, I have really gotten into football!  It is not really one team in particular (with the exception of my Huskers) but I have started to like it all!  No matter what game it is, I like to choose one team that I think will win, and then watch and cheer them on!  It is kind of insane because I had no interest in this before but I guess it is my new "hobby" haha.  I even got an app called Scoremobile so I could be updated with scores...WEIRD!  As I type this I am actually watching a college football game!  Anyway..the day before Thanksgiving and hung out with some fellas who live in my town.  We played Beer Darts, went country cruisin, and went to the local VFW, all the while drinking BEER, YUM!  It was such a fun night and I am thankful that they let me tag along:)  For Thanksgiving I went to my Emo's (grandma) and had a ton of good food, she makes the best!  Noodles, mashed potatoes, stuffing, rolls, deviled eggs, cranberry sauce, 7 layered salad, turkey, and I made a Pecan Pie...DELICIOUS!  The day after Thanksgiving my friends Kalee and Blair came into town and we went out to Uncle Ds; it was an adventure in the least!  I miss them so much and am so happy I got to spend time with them!  I have been eating left over food and I can't stop!  That means lots of working out this next week :( IT WAS WORTH IT!!  

BEERS FROM BEER DARTS

MY PECAN PIE

LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!

DON'T EVER TELL HER I POSTED
THIS PIC!

Catching Up!

So it has been awhile since I have last blogged.  I think about blogging everyday but just never do it and I don't know why.  Today is the day though, I am going to catch up.  I am still healing, still sad some days, happier others, ready to move on with this time in my life but its complicated.  I have dreams about my ex boyfriend almost every night... it was to the point where I would wake up with sweat dripping off of me (which I don't understand why)

but I knew that he was my in my dream.  I still think about him before I go to bed and usually as soon as I wake up.  I still have to see him at work, which I believe this whole thing could be easier if I didn't have to.  He does annoying things like stare at me for what seems like minutes and wont break the stare.  HE SHOULDN'T GET TO STARE AT ME!  The other day, he couldn't get in the doors to the building and who was out in the reception area to let him in, ME!  He said thank you and walked RIGHT BEHIN ME, but I couldn't say one word and I was shaking so bad out of anger, I had to sit down to get control of myself.  He gave me a big bouquet of flowers for Valentine's Day this year that of course came in a vase which circulates around my office.  People want it to put fish in, and then they hear the story of what happened to me, and pass it on to the next person like it is a curse, which it probably is, and the only thing I can think of is to just SMASH IT!  Even worse, my supervisor at work is a male, and he is friends with me on Facebook so he knows about my break up, even though I have never mentioned it to him, and every time I don't do something perfectly at work he says "are there other issues you are having, are you sure there are no other issues u are having?" like he expects me to say "I CAN'T WORK BECAUSE I GOT BROKEN UP WITH ME!" Um no!  I can work, I can function, my demeanor MAY be different, it MAY NOT be, who knows, but because I believe he wants me to bring it up to him and he pushes it, I end up bawling and having to excuse myself which really gets me pissed.  I still am unable to wrap my mind around him not being mine forever but I THINK I KNOW that one day I will be over it.  I have met new friends during my blogging break which always helps, especially my new work roomie Jillian, she is great!  She teaches me to be independent, informs me that I am the bomb.com, and sends me classy song links like "don't make em like you" by Ne Yo which I am so thankful for :)  Two girls from my 4 person "clique" at work have left so now it just me and A.C.  who is wonderful as well, she always makes me laugh.  It was getting pretty pathetic there for awhile, I was going to bed at 7:30 or 8:00 because I was so bored and so lonely and I just wanted to be back at work..BLAH!  WHen it comes to guys, I tried to just be friendly with one here in my home town, I just went to a local football game with him, and of course, everybody thought I was dating him, which I am not into, so I had to cut that tie loose.  I went on a date this past Saturday with a cute boy from Atchison who is 27 and I had a really good time.  We have talked everyday for about a month and a half but things are being taken very slow.  I found, and I probably have mentioned this before, that I am attaching to people very quickly since my break up;  especially men!  It makes me feel better, safe, happy, but its not good for me, or them, so I am trying to not attach to this one.  I wait for him to text me, I am going to wait for him to ask to hang out again, ect..  He is going through a job change so he isn't always the happiest camper so its best I just sit back and relax.  If it works out to be something, GREAT, if not, at least I didn't get attached and it will somehow just be another learning moment.  I put up Christmas decor today to make my spirit happier, its working a little, I am sure the Christmas music will push me there :)  I have never been a depressed person but its a big fear of mine.  I don't want to be sad, alone, miserable, dark...thats not me, but being lonely and being stressed is a hard time and I see how so many people slip into depression.  Pray I stay strong and continue laughing because I sure do!  I promise to make my next post a happier one!