Leslie

Todays marks one month of being single.  I didn't think I would survive the first couple of days let alone a whole month, but I have.  Even on my hardest days I get through and I have come to the conclusion that I just maybe am going to be OK :)  I had a long talk with a woman who I was lucky to meet through my job and is just like another mama to me, her name is Leslie.  Yesterday she kept saying "you look so good, are you happy??"  She didn't know about the break up because the only real answer I give to people when they ask me how I am or how life is, is "fine."  I don't say this because I want to lie but because I don't want to go through the story over and over with people but when she asked me when the big day was it was time I told her.  (By big day, she meant my wedding day)  I explained to her that it was actually the opposite of that and she said "you broke up with him?" and I said well its kind of the opposite of that as well, he  broke up with me.  She had a strange look on her face to so I went through the whole story with her.  By the end of the story she had an angry face on.  She began with the "you don't deserve that", "let me see a picture of this piece of shit" "Karma is a real  bitch" and so on.  We talked about the 80/20 rule which goes like this.  Him and I were in a 2 year relationship, I payed for a lot of my own stuff, I have a car, have a house, have a job, pay my bills, bought him things, cooked for him, cleaned for him, ect..  I am the 80%.  He left me for an internet girlfriend who is still in college and can't really give him much but some new excitement, she is the 20%.  A lot of men are with an 80% and go for the 20% because of excitement and then realize they had it all when some time passes, which is too bad for them.  Leslie asked me about his car, where he lived, and what bills he had.  Well he has an old enough car that doesn't even have payments anymore, he lives with his parents, and the only bills he has now are his insurance and phone.  I explained that he had money saved up for a ring for me but he has been getting a lot of tattoos so that is probably where the money is being spend.  Leslie said I had just explained a man not worthy of me, and I deserve something so much more.  Leslie asked "Why do you have to be the one giving everything and having everything?"  She told me to focus on who was most important and if I don't know who is most important than I need to figure that out.  Leslie explained that I am worth more than that, I am beautiful, and the right man will want to take care of me. Leslie stated that if it is love then it would work its way out but she hopes I never take him back.  I stated that I hope he never comes back, and that I wouldn't take him back anyways because my trust is long gone.  Another good point she made leads me to my "fall back guy," the one who has been in my life for several years but particularly there the night the break up happened.  I put all my focus and time on him, thinking it would make me feel better, which he has most of the time just because I am not alone, but I am looking for more than what he can give.  I have known it from the beginning, my intuition tells me, I just haven't been listening.  Anyways, Leslie said "I was infatuated with this man once who I just knew I could make love me and I was the answer to everything he needed.  I would go into his home, cook for him, watch his little girl, and do everything he wanted, and then I stopped when I realized he was not doing anything for me"  Leslie stated that the point was, be with somebody who wants you almost more than you want them.  She said "if you really like a guy, don't show it, play hard to get, make him put in the effort, stop giving so much and getting so little"  Those were the exact words I needed to hear.  I realized I need to learn how to be single, make it fun, focus on ME, and forget anybody who doesn't see how wonderful I really am.  A big thank you to Leslie for everything she teaches me, all the wise words she gives, and all the love she shows.

Nothing to lose.... but weight!

I have been overweight my whole life and have hated every moment of it.  I have tried to "embrace it" and accept that that is who I am, but that is not who I am.  I don't want to wear XL clothes, I don't want to wear one piece swimsuits, I don't want any of those problems.  Thankfully, I am healthy, very healthy, but that may not always be the case.  I have tried all forms of dieting, nothing worked, I couldn't stick to it, it wasn't fun.  I am young!  I didn't want to be eating my Nutri System meal while my friends were ordering pizza, it was miserable.  I had talked with doctors, they didn't want to help either.  Everbody looked at me like I had the answers to my weight problems and didn't know why I was asking them or maybe I could "stop by the nutrition clinic on my way out."  BULLSHIT!  In December 2011/January 2012, I heard some success stories and read blogs of others who had lost weight and I became DETERMINED.  I made my own meal plans and decided what I needed to cut out (pop being the hardest) as well as deciding what I was going to do for exercise and how often.  I had a lot of support from some family members who were living in town at the time and my ex boyfriend.  They worked out with me 5-6 days a week.  I used the MYFITNESSPAL on my iphone to track Calories and the NIKEPLUS app on my phone to work out with.

I began making all kinds of meals and snacks that were healthier choices and stuck to only drinking water or flavored sparkling water.

I weigh in on Thursday mornings and I was keeping track of my weight loss monthly on Facebook, it was good to hear the encouragement from friends on there.  I have lost 65 pounds in 6 months and am looking forward to another 65 pounds in the next 6 months.  Currently, I am competing with two other girls at my work to see who can lose the most weight which keeps it interesting.  I also have also made sure I reward myself when I get to a certain amount like lose 25 pounds get a pedicure, lose 50 get massages, lose 75, I can start tanning :)  It isn't the fastest process and who knows what I will look like when it is all said and done but I want a skinny body I am proud of and I will get it!

Smith Wedding

Last night I celebrated a wedding with a lot of hometown friends and it was so good to see everyone.  It was a Catholic wedding with no mass which started at around 3:45.  Their colors were black and red and they rode off on the back of a fire truck.  The reason behind this is because, Schmitty as we call him, is a volunteer fire fighter for the city and an actual fire fighter at the military base.  A reception at the Knights of Columbus hall followed where there was free beer (always a plus), and food ready to be eaten.  It was kind of a slow start because it took awhile for the wedding party to get there, get the first dance, mother-son, father-daughter, second father-daughter, and dollar dance out of the way, but then it picked up.  We danced to the Cupid Shuffle, YMCA, Booty Call, and attempted to do the Wobble, but the music kept cutting out.  As the older guest began to leave, the real party started and the rap music began.  My friend Blair and I attempted to do Call me Maybe karaoke style but in the middle of the song the MOH put a stop to that quick, she must have been ready to leave, OH WELL :)  It was a fun night, I am glad I got to see everybody, and congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Smith!

Whoop Whoop!

So here is my post I promised about my bestfriend Hill Wil.  For some reason I am nervous about putting her complete name all over the internet, even though I think on her blog she has her full name, I am just not comfortable with it.  ANYWAY!  I don't remember the exact moment meeting her or even the exact moment we became friends, but we did become friends, thank goodness!  We have been best friends for around 17 years and like all bestfriends we have had our ups and downs but mostly ups and I am so glad she is in my life.  She does the craziest things and gets in the craziest moods (good crazy) where she isn't scared to act out of the ordinary or do things out of the ordinary and it makes me laugh so much.  She makes wild noises like "WHOOP WHOOP" that gets me everytime!  We find excitement in things like iPhone emojis and laugh at all the same things.  She is there for me no matter what and has never judged me.  This post is harder to write than I expected because she means the world to me and I have a lot of memories with her but I wouldn't even know where to start when it comes to writing all those out and it probably wouldn't even do her justice.  I guess the important part is that I have had many good times with her, plan on making many more memories with her, and love her more than she will ever know.  A little into her personal life, her parents are married and share birthdays with me and my brother, she has a younger sister and a younger brother, she was married to J Wil September 10, 2011 (I had the honor of being a bridesmaid), she has a labradoodle(sp) named Charlie, and now they are wanting to start a family.  If you want to know about my best friend, visit her blog at http://wilsonfamilyy.blogspot.com/

Enjoy all the pictures, they are some of my favorites!

Just Today

I don't feel like typing much so I am going to post pics I like